


Riddles of the Self

by LyricDreamweaver



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Episode: s06e06 Riddles, M/M, Major canon divergence, Romance, Talaxian homesteading, Trace amounts of Vulcan hand porn, minor hurt/comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-11-29 08:24:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11436981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LyricDreamweaver/pseuds/LyricDreamweaver
Summary: Tuvok never really gets himself back, but he does gain something wonderful instead.





	Riddles of the Self

**Author's Note:**

> Let Tuvok and Neelix be gay and in love you cowards.

But he never really did get to be himself again. Neelix ran a hand down Tuvok's spine, making the Vulcan shiver under his touch. But Tuvok pressed himself closer to the Talaxian, warm and purring softly. Neelix was reminded of an Earth cat.

"Tuvok?"

"Yes?"

"Would you like to play kal-toh? Just with me?"

"No." A stubborn edge to his tone.

"Do you want to go cook?"

"Later. I want to rest now."

At least Tuvok was better about being open, vocalizing his needs to Neelix. He simply rubbed the Vulcan's back, over the material of his shirt, offering him comfort.

* * *

_"We're running a starship, not a hospice," The Doctor protested._

_"Tuvok is, in spite of his current state, still our friend," Janeway said firmly._

_Neelix swallowed. "I understand. He'll be under my watch. I'll help him."_

_Janeway fixed him with that wise stare before nodding once. "So it's decided. Tuvok will be under your care. We'll find someone to take his place."_

_That was, perhaps, worse to Neelix than the thought of never having his friend back._

* * *

"Neelix?"

"What?"

The Vulcan ran the smooth pad of his thumb across the Talaxian's cheek, wiping at a stray glob of icing. Tuvok brought his thumb to Neelix's mouth, offering him a taste and Neelix sucked at the icing.

"You're very messy today," Tuvok said, pulling his hand away to wipe the Talaxian's saliva on his apron. "Is something wrong?"

"I'm worried about you," Neelix admitted. "I always am."

"Don't worry about me," Tuvok begged. "I'm having fun, Neelix. I like being this free."

"I worry that they treat you like a child."

There's a long silence and Tuvok seems to be unable to settle on just one emotion, flooded with them. He settles, after a long moment, on anger.

"I am not a child," Tuvok says. "If feeling things makes me a child, then every human would be one."

Neelix sighs, taking Tuvok's hand and pressing his lips to the Vulcan's knuckles. "I know."

"I like feeling love," Tuvok says, calming slowly. "I like being angry, being sad, too."

It's like sparks running up Neelix's spine. "Who do you love?"

"You."

Neelix could melt. He decides kissing Tuvok's cheek is better.

* * *

"I won't go!"

Tuvok rages through their shared quarters, a force to rival Klingon warriors. He tears the Vulcan tapestries from the wall, letting the fabric pool on the ground.

"Tuvok—"

Neelix paces, blocking Tuvok off from the door, but not actively getting in his way. Sometimes it is better to let him work through things here rather than have him picking fights. 

"You want to get rid of me!" Tuvok shouts and his eyes are welling up with tears. 

It wounds Neelix to see him like this and the Talaxian worries he might cry as well. "Tuvok, please, listen."

The kal-toh goes across the room, smashing against the wall and Neelix wonders if he can put it back together. The three-dimensional chess board gets swept off Tuvok's desk, glass pieces shattering on the floor. 

"Tuvok." And now Neelix worries, crossing the room to pull Tuvok away from the broken glass and toward their shared bed.

Tuvok struggles for a moment before allowing himself to be held. He buries his face in the Talaxian's chest, crying and screaming. Neelix pets the Vulcan, unsure what to do for him aside from simply hold him.

"I said we had to go home," Neelix says. "I didn't mean Vulcan."

Tuvok wipes at his eyes, sniffling. "Where, then?"

"We could go back to my planet. It's warm there."

Tuvok sighs, tired and stressed and upset. "I want to rest. Can we talk about this later?" 

"Of course, my love," Neelix says. "Get some rest. You must be exhausted. I'll clean everything up while you sleep."

"No."

"No?" Neelix simply looks at the Vulcan, more than ready to get him a drink or something to snack on.

"I want you to sleep next to me."

"Alright, Tuvok."

Neelix takes plenty of time to fuss over the Vulcan, making sure he's tucked in and comfortable. Tuvok, when he gets fed up, pulls the Talaxian down to rest with him.

"You think too hard about this," Tuvok mumbles, resting his head on the Talaxian's shoulder. "I just want to cuddle."

"You're perfect for cuddling," Neelix admits, "since you're so warm."

Tuvok falls into a deep sleep, comforted by the Talaxian. The content look on the Vulcan's face is all Neelix has ever wanted.

* * *

Their first Prixin together is spent homesteading. Neelix and Tuvok, together, build their house on a fairly unpopulated asteroid colony in the Delta Quadrant. It was nice to work with fair weather, warm sunlights, hands accidentally brush against one another's, Tuvok's sometimes brushes Neelix's whiskers, drawing purrs of delight and contentment from the Talaxian.

With their home half-finished, they settle under a starlit sky to enjoy their supper, Tuvok's cooking.

"You know, I could get used to Vulcan homecooking," Neelix says, smiling at Tuvok.

"Even if I'm not a logical Vulcan?"

Neelix chuckles, leaning in to kiss Tuvok. "Even if you're an emotional Vulcan, you're still the Vulcan I fell in love with."

Tuvok looks down at his hands, flustered so easily.

* * *

"I'm home," Neelix calls.

"Welcome back, my love," Tuvok replies, smiling.

Seeing Tuvok in their home, apron on and smiling, sends a thrill through Neelix's chest. It always has.

"Dinner ready?"

"Not quite," Tuvok says. "But I did work hard on it, so you get to do dishes tonight."

"Of course," Neelix says, putting and arm around Tuvox's waist. He presses his lips to the Vulcan's neck, making Tuvok laugh. 

"Go set the table," Tuvok mock-scolds.

"Yes, dearest."

And Neelix does as he is told, setting the table for two and getting a bottle of alcohol for them. It's their anniversary, after all.

"Neelix?" Tuvok asks, serving dinner.

"What is it?"

"Do you only love me because of the accident?" 

Neelix nearly drops the glass in his hand, catching it at the last moment. "Why would you think that?"

"It's just . . . people talk, Neelix. You brought a brain-damaged Vulcan back from your tour of the universe."

"First, you're not damaged," Neelix says. "Just different."

"Brain-damaged," Tuvok insists. 

Neelix sighs, deciding not to fight that battle. They've only ever gone in circles about it. "Second, I've always loved you. I just needed to know you loved me as well."

"Was the old me a cold man?" Tuvok asks, taking off the apron and hanging it up. "Was he horribly mean to you?"

"No," Neelix says softly, taking Tuvok's hand and interlocking their fingers. "Just . . . a regular Vulcan."

Tuvok holds Neelix's hand a bit tighter, quiet, but Neelix can feel him calming down. "I love you, Neelix."

"I know." Neelix kisses Tuvok's cheek. "I love you too."

"No," Tuvok says. "You don't understand. _I_ love you. The me I am in this moment, not the me I was before the accident."

Neelix takes Tuvok's lips in his own. "After dinner, let's go to bed, hmm?"

"But of course," Tuvok says against Neelix's neck.


End file.
